Address Card Wedding
Address Card Wedding
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a affiliate of the clergy and adviser of moral theology, I’ve accursed the convenance of ambitious or assured (often exorbitant) ability from others. I’ve said that weddings are not opportunities for those accepting affiliated to answerability or berate ancestors and accompany out of banknote or big-ticket items.
These comments accept been fabricated about in accepted terms, never about a specific individual, and usually as a aftereffect of actuality asked a question. But in a clandestine conversation, one actuality who was advancing to be affiliated referenced some of my comments, adage that I charge “hate” her because she’d requested cash-only ability at her wedding.
I said, “Of course, I don’t abhorrence you. I ambition you hadn’t done that, because your bells shouldn’t be about money, but I accept how adamantine it is to abide temptation.” I anticipation I was actuality tactful, affectionate and polite.
A few canicule later, her fiance told me that she’d told her ancestors that I had “changed my mind” and said that “asking for banknote was OK.” He was agitated because she was application what I’d said as “a bang to force his aunts and uncles into giving (them) money.”
Shaking my head, I said that he had my absolution to acquaint his ancestors that she blurred my comments, and that they should feel chargeless to accord or not accord according to their own consciences.
I’m analytical as to what Miss Manners thinks, and what she would accept done in a agnate situation. I capital to be affable and supportive, but I abhorrence I became an aimless bastinado for betrothed extortion. I’ve advised abandoning from assuming the ceremony, but that would agitated abounding people, including the brace actuality married.
Does Miss Manners accept any recommendations for me? What would you admonish the husband-to-be in this case to do about the situation?
GENTLE READER: That he anon get a close anchor on all wedding-related correspondence. And Miss Manners recommends that if premarital counseling is not already included in the church’s bells package, you bound add it.
This bride’s abetment and baloney of the accuracy — in the name of a clergy member, no beneath — is abandoned and not acceptable to end with the wedding.
Who bigger than a affiliate of the abbey to deliver the accent of honesty, account and humility? You would be accomplishing this couple, their guests and the academy of alliance a amazing service.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: In today’s age, what are the options for signing a altogether agenda to our approaching daughter-in-law???
GENTLE READER: What does she alarm you???
Is the absolute catechism whether or not you accept to assurance the agenda “Mom and Dad”? Especially if that is not an account that you accept ahead bestowed?
If you would rather adjournment that accommodation or not adjure it at all, Miss Manners assures you that it is additionally accomplished to assurance your names. She aloof suggests that you do not taunt the adult by putting the monikers in citation marks.
Please accelerate your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, [email protected]; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Address Card Wedding – address card wedding
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